Not So Tough After All
by EMPG22HoPe
Summary: Set: After MoA where Hera leaves Olympus unannounced. "This pain, this undeniably, excruciatingly, inevitable pain has brought her to dangerous extremes. And despite being a goddess, immortality was never the pill to that kind of pain. That pain that's conquered by fear." Zeus/Hera-centric


**Not So Tough After All**

_"Let me be your **shelter**, let me be your** light**. You're **safe**, no one will find you. Your **fears** are far behind you."_

* * *

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice boomed, causing her to jump in surprise. Hera turned, only to meet his dark, stormy grey eyes full of anger and deceit. If she hadn't known any better, she would have trembled under his gaze; but instead she backfired with a frown that almost seemed to become a permanent expression on her face.

"Hiding. Have you any other ideas on what I'm doing?" Hera spat back as she walked past him, going over to the burning hearth that Hestia had prepared for her. "In case you haven't noticed, the entire Pantheon is enraged at my little... exchange of leaders."

"That's not a reason to leave Olympus without telling me." Zeus grumbled, crossing his arms on his chest. "What if Porphyrion captured you again?"

"I would _love _that." Hera responded sarcastically as she poked at the burning woods of the hearth. "Perhaps he'll _really _marry me by then! Then I'd rule over the giants. Geez, why didn't I think of that?"

"You're being childish, Hera. Stop this nonsense and come back to Olympus." Zeus spat at her, which made Hera's demeanor stiffen.

"Are you really sure they want me back there? After all the insults they threw at me? They all think that what I'm doing is for the attention, when in fact, it's for the sake of putting our families together. So thank you, but _no _thank you." Hera sighed. She had no intention of going back there. It would would be great to see how wrong they were. They think that uniting Greeks and Romans is impossible, when in fact, it isn't. The one thing the gods thought impossible was the one thing Gaea suspected they wouldn't do. But Hera didn't live more than a thousand years not to do the impossible. She was the Queen and the mother who should be one of the strategic goddesses. But no, not even Athena had thought of that. They just merely bask at the destiny that the fates would give them.

Zeus shook his head as he rubbed his temples in frustration. No matter how much she hated Zeus for... well, basically everything, she didn't want to cause him pressure. "You're being very difficult right now."

"You should have thought of that before raping me." Hera muttered as she walked over to the kitchen and began taking out ingredients from the magical refrigerator built by her son, Hephaestus.

"What was that?" Zeus snapped at her as he followed her into the kitchen.

"Zeus, if you're just here to exchange pointless banters with me, I suggest you leave." Hera took out some cabbage, tomatoes and onions from the fridge. "I will return at my own discretion."

"Then I'm staying here." Zeus proclaimed, causing Hera to glare at him.

"What do you mean _you're staying here_?" Hera asked, obviously petrified.

"I'm not leaving until you come back with me." Zeus said simply.

Hera rolled her eyes. "Look who's being childish."

Zeus looked as if he was ready to create a nasty remark, but he decided otherwise by pressing his lips in a straight line. "Just get on with making dinner."

Before Hera could reply, he had already left and made himself comfortable in the mini living room. Hera fumed and muttered insults under her breath. Every time her grunts about how incompetent of a husband Zeus was, he'd yell out that he heard it. She chopped the tomatoes rather furiously, together with the onions. This small cabin was one of her only refugees when she wanted to be away from the Titans-awful Olympus full of drama. Now that Zeus found it, she had to find a new one, in case she _does _escape the next time. The god was annoying, if not persistent. No matter what she tried, he wasn't going away until she follows him.

With a sigh, she continued with cooking dinner, which was supposedly only for one, but she doubled it because of Zeus. Perhaps she would go back to Olympus tomorrow. At least there, he wouldn't bother her and she wouldn't be getting this sort of face to face moment with him.

"Why did you come here?" Hera asked aloud as she did the finishing touches on the roast beef. Even though the answer was obvious, she needed a full ledge explanation. Was she needed in Olympus? To do what, exactly? Not that she was _that _useful to them. All she ever was was the bitter, unloving Queen who everybody hated. So what's all the trouble of forcing her to go back?

"Like I said, I need to take you back." Zeus answered, as if the question Hera had asked was that of a child's.

"For what? I thought you have everything under control there." Hera washed her hands at the sink, then went over to prepare the table. From outside, dusk was slow. It would have been a sight to ponder over, but unfortunately she has an unexpected guest to attend to.

"It's not that easy." She could have sworn she heard his voice almost break.

"Nobody said it was easy ruling Olympus." Hera commented as she put the last plate on the table. "Dinner's ready."

Zeus entered the kitchen in a matter of seconds before taking a seat adjacent to Hera's. As she poured garnishes of her salad on her plate, she studied his face. Although he still had that proud, handsome feature; he looked beat up, if not spent. No matter how much she hated him, no matter how much of an unfaithful bastard he was, she wasn't an idiot to press anymore pressure at him when he looks exactly like someone who just got out Tartarus.

"Yes, well, it's not easy without you." Zeus admitted as he went on to take a slice of the roast beef. Hera arched a curious brow at him before she mentally grinned. It was rare to hear Zeus admit _anything _good about her, but since she is his wife, it'd be normal to look weak. She mentally laughed at herself. The irony of that seemed to have bitten her like a snake would to a child. In the years of being with him, she had never opened up to him. Well, maybe she opened up to him on the first few years of their marriage. But she found that her words always fell on deaf ears, hence, she never did that sort of practice no longer because it turned out to be pointless.

"You're the brain of all this... Greek-Roman charade. Even I'm not sure how this will go over." Zeus shook his head before looking at her. "If this is about Jason..."

"Don't." Hera said rather bitterly, before swallowing her salad. "It's bad enough I'm _trying _to fix this problem. I don't need to hear about any of your... other children."

With that remark, they finally ate in silence. During the first hundred years of their marriage, dinner together was a bliss. They'd often light a candle in the middle of the table and talk of pointless little things that made them happy. Dinner was the core of their marriage, if not their children. During Dinner, those were the little chances that she got to open up to him. She was allowed to cry until he brought her to bed to make her feel better. He used to listen before. But those years were long gone and this was _now. _It was not possible to have those years back, much less do it by brute force.

After dinner, Hera immediately went to bed. Zeus was probably smart enough to sleep in the couch. They haven't, well, slept together in a while. Ever since she found out that Zeus broke his pact about not having any more demi-god children, their relationship just went from the Underworld to the depths of Tartarus. There was simply no hope in developing their relationship any further. Perhaps marriage counseling would be a good option, but nevertheless, Zeus will always do what he always does: have more bastard children until he manages to break her.

Hera was already broken, inside and out. She didn't need him to make it worst. With that thought in mind, she pulled up her body in a fetal position. For the first time since Porphyrion's kidnap, she cried. It was an empty feeling to cry. Crying was not something she often did in public, but it sure was something she does when she's alone. Crying means weakness and being Queen, showing weakness means she's not the right goddess to rule beside Zeus; the unbreakable rock that often feels nothing at all. But crying had helped her dealt with the undeniable pain that she's been causing to herself and the pain that the others cause her. It was the only thing that lessened the burden of being Hera.

Moments later, her tears dried and her cheeks became sore from all the sobbing. In the finality of her cries, it was worth it. At least she knew that she wasn't as proud as most people think she is. Even though she was the rough, bossy Queen of Olympus... she wasn't as tough as she thought she was.

* * *

Her cry was the most deafening sound. Oftentimes, she'd cry in silence upon having a nightmare. But this nightmare almost killed her. _Almost. _Hera was back in the Wolf House where she was trapped. But during that time in her dream, she wasn't trapped. She was trying to find an escape. Her powers had weakened by that time and no demigods were there to save her. Porphyrion had already risen and he hovered over her, his entire physique larger than that of the other Giants. Fear coursed through her as he grabbed her and eventually, began to abuse her. Like Zeus had done to her until she was forced to marry him.

The dream felt real and it was painful. No other pain could succumb to whatever Porphyrion had done to her in it. Hera hadn't realized that upon crying, Zeus was already holding her in his arms. Not caring that he was seeing her weep, she sobbed into his chest. Her breaths were heavy as she tried to release the undeniable pain that felt so real. The aftershock of being kidnapped was bad enough, what more of dreams that constantly haunt her? Ever since she was released by the three demigods, she had nightmares about that place. It was mentally tearing her apart.

Zeus shushed her as he caressed her back. "It's okay, Hera... I'm here."

Hera shook her head against his chest, her voice stifling. "I - It's not going to be okay. As long as that Giant lives, none of this is going to be okay."

"Porphyrion?" Zeus asked and Hera wanted to punch him for being so obtuse. Instead, she simply nodded and clung to him tighter. He sighed, then kissed the crown of Hera's hair. "He's gone. He's not going to touch you again."

_No more talk of darkness_  
_Forget these wide-eyed fears_  
_I'm here, nothing can harm you_  
_My words will warm and calm you_

"How are you even sure of that?" Hera's voice was laced with fear and discernment. For the first time since the countless years she's been with Zeus, she was finally breaking in front of him. At least he knows what it's like to be torn apart by humiliation and overwhelming emotions. "How are you sure that he's not going to take me again and use me like a rag doll? Zeus..." She sniffed, balling her fist against his now wet polo shirt. "I'm scared. I'm scared of losing everything: you, our family, my sanity. I'm not as tough as you think I am."

_All I want is freedom_  
_A world with no more night_  
_And you, always beside me_  
_To hold me and to hide me_

"I know you're not." Zeus whispered, gently cupping her jaw so that she can look up to him. "How long have you been bottling all of this?"

"Longer than you can imagine." Hera laughed sadly, shaking her head in the process. "I just... I knew you wouldn't listen to me. That no matter how much I tried to tell you, you wouldn't understand because you don't care. I thought it best to keep it to myself... to keep these fears bottled up. Apparently, that isn't working out for me."

"Hera, I will listen if you tell me." Zeus wiped her tears with his thumbs, catching the others that were attempting to slip down her cheeks. "I'm not as heartless as you think I am."

_Let me lead you from your solitude_  
_Say you need me with you here, beside you_  
_Anywhere you go, let me go too_

"When was the last time you asked how my day was?" Hera's voice was so lithe and small in the dark of the night, he hardly heard it. "When was the last time we had a serious talk about us? If I force myself to recall, it's been centuries, perhaps thousands of them since we've done so. What changed?"

"Us." Zeus answered, staring into her warm, chocolate eyes that are beginning to cloud with redness due to her crying. "If people change, so do we, Hera. I know it's not the best reason, but it's the only obvious thing."

"I don't like our change." Hera spat almost bitterly, causing Zeus to grimace. She stared at his stormy grey eyes, and for the first time in years, she saw the concern in his eyes. "Our change is so dark and full of night. There's hardly enough space for love, much less concern. The more it turned that way, the more my anxiousness grows. I don't want us to be this... broken."

_Say you need me with you now and always_  
_Promise me that all you say is true_  
_That's all I ask of you_

"Then we'll make a different change." Zeus encouraged her, planting a soft kiss on her lips. "You can forget all your fears, because I _will _be here for you. I will help you get rid of those dark dreams every night. From here on, I'll be there whenever you need me."

"Zeus..." Hera whispered hoarsely.

They spent the night talking and confessing of things that they haven't told each other in years. Gradually, Hera's tears had subsided and was slowly being replaced with small smiles here and there. His words warmed and calmed her, causing her to relax practically the entire night. It may look like that she was too easy to grab or gullible enough to allow Zeus's words to comfort her, but she had no other choice. This pain, this _undeniably, excruciatingly, inevitable _pain has brought her to dangerous extremes. And despite being a goddess, immortality was never the pill to that kind of pain. That pain that's conquered by fear.

Fear of what's to come of forever.

Fear of loss.

Fear of being taken away.

Fear of anger.

But most importantly, fear of love.

Hera was not the kind of goddess to actually _love. _Perhaps her _love _is in a form of one's being family-oriented, but her love for Zeus had grown beyond blood. She loved him as a friend, a companion and a lover. We can never tell on when Zeus will finally end his habit of sleeping with other women and we can never tell when the _end _really is. But if there was one thing Hera learned in the countless millenniums of being married to Zeus is that she can never, not even once, give up on him.

And hopefully, as the dawn approaches and the horizon is lighted with the beginning of the sun everyday, so will her husband.

* * *

_Say you'll share with me one **love**, one **lifetime**. __Say the **word** and I will **follow** you. __**Share** each day with me, each **night**, each **morning**. _


End file.
